Build Your Self-Esteem – Introduction

Earlier this year, I posted a series of little videos on my Facebook page giving tips on how to raise your self-esteem.  I’ve also uploaded them to YouTube so you can catch up with any you missed/want to see again. They were so well-received that I thought it might be a good idea to go into the subject a bit more deeply in blog posts.  So starting next week I’m going to publish a post each week exploring one of these tips.  I won’t be repeating what I’ve said in the videos word for word – that wouldn’t be worth your time.  Instead I’ll be giving you a bit more detail about the things I say in the videos.  I might include some real life examples and the I’ll try to word the whole thing a bit more elegantly.

Before we start, I just want to clarify one thing.  I don’t want to come across as some kind of mad-eyed positive-thinking guru.  I’m not suggesting for one minute that everything will be fine if you never allow yourself a negative thought.  Life isn’t like that, and trying to pretend it is will just give you another thing to feel bad about.  Either you’ll notice negative thoughts starting to creep in so you’ll call yourself a failure for not being able to keep them out.  Or possibly even worse, you’ll keep the negative thoughts at bay but things will still go wrong.  So you’ll think you were being negative all along but were too stupid to notice.

What I’m suggesting is that you accept that things will go wrong but that doesn’t mean your whole life’s a disaster.  You will make mistakes but that doesn’t mean you’re rubbish.  You will fail but that doesn’t make you a failure.

So watch this space and together we can work on your self-esteem.  You can learn to stop putting yourself down and start to recognise your own worth.  And then, perhaps, you’ll fly.

How can you help me?

It’s all very well me telling you about my qualifications and how wonderful I am.   That’s true by the way – I really am.  But what you really want to know is how hypnotherapy can help you.  And when I’m talking about this, it isn’t necessarily a sales pitch for me – I’m not just pushing my services.  I want you to really understand why you might benefit from seeing a hypnotherapist.

Basically, if you feel like you’re stuck in some aspect of your life, hypnotherapy could help you.  I like working with people who have problems with confidence or self-esteem, but hypnotherapy can help with much more.

So maybe you’re stuck trying to cope with depression or anxiety, feeling like life’s just too hard.  Hypnotherapy can help you to move on and start to enjoy living again.

Perhaps you’re stuck with a bad habit – maybe smoking or drinking too much or biting your nails.  If you really want to change that and feel better about yourself, hypnotherapy can help you.

If you’re stuck with chronic pain from fibromyalgia, or chronic fatigue syndrome, or maybe from an old injury – hypnotherapy can help you.

And if you’re stuck weighing a couple of stone more than you know you should, sick of yoyo dieting and being told what you can and can’t eat, hypnotherapy can help you find a new way to manage your weight, a way that seems effortless because it works by changing you, not by forcing you to constantly watch what goes in your mouth.

Hypnotherapy can help you to get out of that place where it feels like you’ve been stuck for ever.  It can gently move you in the right direction so you can end up where you really want to be.

So if you feel stuck and you want to move on, do yourself a favour.  Have a look on the internet for hypnotherapists in your area and give one of them a call.  It could make all the difference.

But will you make me cluck like a chicken?

I call it the chicken question.  It’s nearly always there in new clients’ minds and I’m not the only one who has to deal with it.  I have a friend who practises as a hypnotherapist on the South coast.  Stage hypnosis shows are very popular in his area.  He experiences a lot of resistance to hypnotherapy from people who have seen them.  They genuinely believe that a hypnotherapist will make them cluck like a chicken.  Or bark like a dog.  Or even burst into song in the middle of Waitrose (I told you he lives on the South coast).

A hypnotherapist will not make you do any of these things.  A hypnotherapist cannot make you do any of these things.  No-one can make you do anything under hypnosis that you don’t want to do.  Read that sentence again – it really does bear repeating.  And if you haven’t inwardly digested it then read it one more time.

Stage hypnotists have developed the skill to very cleverly identify those audience members who are happy to make an exhibition of themselves.  Under the influence of hypnosis they can easily persuade these people to act the fool for the entertainment of others.  They go to see the show in the full knowledge that volunteers will go up on stage and do odd things.  Then they volunteer – the hypnotist isn’t going to have a lot of difficulty getting them to bark or cluck or quack.

Hypnotherapists, on the other hand, are skilled at using the hypnotic trance state to help our clients to bring about changes that they desire.    We help people who are stuck in some way to change their behaviour and move on.  By doing this we help people to build confidence, to change unwanted habits or to handle unpleasant feelings.  We aim to make people’s lives better.  To do anything else would be morally and ethically unacceptable.

So no – I will NOT make you do anything you don’t want to do.  I will not make you cluck like a chicken.  Even if you ask me to!